Spinach sandwich

Like sandwiches? Here's a recipe I made up today. Two slices of 9 grain bread, guacamole, uncooked baby spinach, a stout cucumber quarter-inch thick slices, mayonnaise, salt and pepper to taste. Slather the guacamole on one piece of the bread, pile high with spinach, cucumber slices on top of that, salt and pepper to taste. Spread the mayonnaise on the other slice of bread and place on top of sandwich. You can add things to it like thinly sliced tomatoes, or my favorite, banana peppers.

I was watching TV the other night, there wasn't much on so I was watching a movie on TNT called “Shooter” staring Mark Wahlberg, about an ex special forces sniper. The movie was pretty good, Mark is a good actor. When a commercial came on, I starting flipping the channels as usual and on the History Channel was a show called “Sniper; Inside The Cross hairs ”. I thought that was pretty ironic.

But then I saw a commercial about a car that stops itself if your going to back into something. Man I wish I had that when I was driving trucks. I'd probably be driving today if I had. Another commercial I found interesting was about two little kids about 5 and 8 years old dreaming about being manager's of a McDonald’s, is that what kids have to aspire to today?

Well, that's it for today, I'm really going to try and be more consistent with my blog.

Yeah, right, like that's going to happen!

Deviled Eggs

This trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house was in March, and it involved Easter that year. Now, everybody knows that I love deviled eggs, but only my family knew what they did to me. Everyone had strict orders not to let me have any kind of boiled eggs. My Grandfather was sneaking them to me at the bar, and my Grandmother was sneaking them to me in the kitchen, as I passed through on my way to the bar in the basement. I lost count of how many I had eaten, but they sure were good.
We left the next morning at zero dark hours, around 4am, anytime we went anywhere with my dad we would leave at 4am. On the return trip we had an extra person on board, my brother Tommy was coming down to stay with us for a while. He was 3 years older, and in the early years we were raised together, when my mom and I lived with my grandparents. So by 4:10 everybody was all settled in with pillows and blankets. My sister and brother were in the very back of the station wagon, Tommy and myself were in the back seat, mom and dad in the front. Everyone was sleeping except for my dad who was driving.
An hour later the boiled eggs started to do their job and I cut a silent but deadly fart. A few seconds later my dad was shaking my mom and telling her that the baby pooed his diaper. My brother was about 16 months old. So my mom woke up and told me to pass my brother to her, which I did holding back a smile. Now in these days Pampers were new and you couldn't reuse them once you took them off. She took off the diaper and told my dad that there was nothing in it. With a new diaper on I placed him in the back with my sister again. Just about the time everyone got settled down, another fart slipped out. A few seconds later, my dad is shaking my mom again telling her that the baby had shit his pants again. I pass the poor baby up to her again, same thing happened. With another new diaper on we all got settled down again. About an hour went by and it happened again. This time my dad swore up and down that the baby shit his pants, so we did it all over again, but this time mom stuck her finger in the diaper first and said she did not feel anything in the diaper. So we put him in the back again.
It's starting to get light out now and as I raised up a little bit to cut yet another fart my brother starts yelling that it was me cutting the farts not the baby. I couldn't help myself, I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. The rest of the trip was done with all the windows down and everyone cuddled up in their winter jackets, they kept saying they were going to tie me to the roof. Thank goodness that boiled eggs don't do that to me today.

The Amazing Cucumber

This information was in The New York Times a while back as part of their "Spotlight on the Home" series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.

1.  Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3,Vitamin , Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2.  Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber.  Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3.  Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower?  Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4.  Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds?  Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long.  The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5.  Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool?  Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite.  Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6.  Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache?  Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free.  Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7.  Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8.   Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9.   Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge?  Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa?  Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints?  Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the photochemical will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel?  Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake?  Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls! 

So there you have it, and you thought cucumbers were only good for salads.