Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Spinach sandwich

Like sandwiches? Here's a recipe I made up today. Two slices of 9 grain bread, guacamole, uncooked baby spinach, a stout cucumber quarter-inch thick slices, mayonnaise, salt and pepper to taste. Slather the guacamole on one piece of the bread, pile high with spinach, cucumber slices on top of that, salt and pepper to taste. Spread the mayonnaise on the other slice of bread and place on top of sandwich. You can add things to it like thinly sliced tomatoes, or my favorite, banana peppers.

I was watching TV the other night, there wasn't much on so I was watching a movie on TNT called “Shooter” staring Mark Wahlberg, about an ex special forces sniper. The movie was pretty good, Mark is a good actor. When a commercial came on, I starting flipping the channels as usual and on the History Channel was a show called “Sniper; Inside The Crosshairs ”. I thought that was pretty ironic.

But then I saw a commercial about a car that stops itself if your going to back into something. Man I wish I had that when I was driving trucks. I'd probably be driving today if I had. Another commercial I found interesting was about two little kids about 5 and 8 years old dreaming about being manager's of a McDonald’s, is that what kids have to aspire to today?

Well, that's it for today, I'm really going to try and be more consistent with my blog.

Yeah, right, like that's going to happen!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Deviled Eggs

This trip to Grandma and Grandpa's house was in March, and it involved Easter that year. Now, everybody knows that I love deviled eggs, but only my family knew what they did to me. Everyone had strict orders not to let me have any kind of boiled eggs. My Grandfather was sneaking them to me at the bar, and my Grandmother was sneaking them to me in the kitchen, as I passed through on my way to the bar in the basement. I lost count of how many I had eaten, but they sure were good.
We left the next morning at zero dark hours, around 4am, anytime we went anywhere with my dad we would leave at 4am. On the return trip we had an extra person on board, my brother Tommy was coming down to stay with us for a while. He was 3 years older, and in the early years we were raised together, when my mom and I lived with my grandparents. So by 4:10 everybody was all settled in with pillows and blankets. My sister and brother were in the very back of the station wagon, Tommy and myself were in the back seat, mom and dad in the front. Everyone was sleeping except for my dad who was driving.
An hour later the boiled eggs started to do their job and I cut a silent but deadly fart. A few seconds later my dad was shaking my mom and telling her that the baby pooed his diaper. My brother was about 16 months old. So my mom woke up and told me to pass my brother to her, which I did holding back a smile. Now in these days Pampers were new and you couldn't reuse them once you took them off. She took off the diaper and told my dad that there was nothing in it. With a new diaper on I placed him in the back with my sister again. Just about the time everyone got settled down, another fart slipped out. A few seconds later, my dad is shaking my mom again telling her that the baby had shit his pants again. I pass the poor baby up to her again, same thing happened. With another new diaper on we all got settled down again. About an hour went by and it happened again. This time my dad swore up and down that the baby shit his pants, so we did it all over again, but this time mom stuck her finger in the diaper first and said she did not feel anything in the diaper. So we put him in the back again.
It's starting to get light out now and as I raised up a little bit to cut yet another fart my brother starts yelling that it was me cutting the farts not the baby. I couldn't help myself, I was laughing so hard I almost peed my pants. The rest of the trip was done with all the windows down and everyone cuddled up in their winter jackets, they kept saying they were going to tie me to the roof. Thank goodness that boiled eggs don't do that to me today.

Friday, September 3, 2010

The Amazing Cucumber

This information was in The New York Times a while back as part of their "Spotlight on the Home" series that highlighted creative and fanciful ways to solve common problems.

1.  Cucumbers contain most of the vitamins you need every day, just one cucumber contains Vitamin B1, Vitamin B2, Vitamin B3,Vitamin , Vitamin B6, Folic Acid, Vitamin C, Calcium, Iron, Magnesium, Phosphorus, Potassium and Zinc.

2.  Feeling tired in the afternoon, put down the caffeinated soda and pick up a cucumber.  Cucumbers are a good source of B Vitamins and Carbohydrates that can provide that quick pick-me-up that can last for hours.

3.  Tired of your bathroom mirror fogging up after a shower?  Try rubbing a cucumber slice along the mirror, it will eliminate the fog and provide a soothing, spa-like fragrance.

4.  Are grubs and slugs ruining your planting beds?  Place a few slices in a small pie tin and your garden will be free of pests all season long.  The chemicals in the cucumber react with the aluminum to give off a scent undetectable to humans but drive garden pests crazy and make them flee the area.

5.  Looking for a fast and easy way to remove cellulite before going out or to the pool?  Try rubbing a slice or two of cucumbers along your problem area for a few minutes, the phytochemicals in the cucumber cause the collagen in your skin to tighten, firming up the outer layer and reducing the visibility of cellulite.  Works great on wrinkles too!!!

6.  Want to avoid a hangover or terrible headache?  Eat a few cucumber slices before going to bed and wake up refreshed and headache free.  Cucumbers contain enough sugar, B vitamins and electrolytes to replenish essential nutrients the body lost, keeping everything in equilibrium, avoiding both a hangover and headache!!

7.  Looking to fight off that afternoon or evening snacking binge? Cucumbers have been used for centuries and often used by European trappers, traders and explores for quick meals to thwart off starvation.

8.   Have an important meeting or job interview and you realize that you don't have enough time to polish your shoes? Rub a freshly cut cucumber over the shoe, its chemicals will provide a quick and durable shine that not only looks great but also repels water.

9.   Out of WD 40 and need to fix a squeaky hinge?  Take a cucumber slice and rub it along the problematic hinge, and voila, the squeak is gone!

10. Stressed out and don't have time for massage, facial or visit to the spa?  Cut up an entire cucumber and place it in a boiling pot of water, the chemicals and nutrients from the cucumber will react with the boiling water and be released in the steam, creating a soothing, relaxing aroma that has been shown the reduce stress in new mothers and college students during final exams.

11. Just finish a business lunch and realize you don't have gum or mints?  Take a slice of cucumber and press it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue for 30 seconds to eliminate bad breath, the photochemical will kill the bacteria in your mouth responsible for causing bad breath.

12. Looking for a 'green' way to clean your faucets, sinks or stainless steel?  Take a slice of cucumber and rub it on the surface you want to clean, not only will it remove years of tarnish and bring back the shine, but is won't leave streaks and won't harm you fingers or fingernails while you clean.

13. Using a pen and made a mistake?  Take the outside of the cucumber and slowly use it to erase the pen writing, also works great on crayons and markers that the kids have used to decorate the walls! 

So there you have it, and you thought cucumbers were only good for salads.

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Beer and soda distributing

In 1966 my mother was pregnant again and had a boy. He became very sick and they had to transport him to San Antonio, the nearest Army hospital that had a heart specialist. Before my dad left to escort Christopher to the hospital he told me that I should pray for my little brother because he was dying. While my mom was in the hospital giving birth to my little brother my dad came home late one night. I had already gone to bed. I woke up to find my dad in my bed playing with my pecker, then he made me play with his and I don't want to talk about what else took place. I didn't know what to think, he kept telling me that he loved me. My mom had become very sick during this pregnancy and I had to take care of my brother and sister. When I got home from school it was my job to take care of them till bedtime. I had to feed them, bath them, and put them to bed. So to say the least I was not happy that she was going to have another baby that I would have to take care of. When my dad told me to pray for him, that's exactly what I did, but I prayed he would die. Guess what, he did die. Now I was carrying that guilt around with me til I was an adult. When my mom got home from the hospital I couldn't talk to her about what had happened with my dad because she was so depressed about my dead brother. The next time it happened I tried to tell her but she wouldn't believe me, she told everyone that I was just a trouble maker.

About six months later my dad got orders to go to Germany and he took us with him. A couple of months after we got there I found a job working with the Beer-man. This guy, Rolland, had a 14 foot flat-bed truck and it was loaded with beer and soda cases. He went around to all the American housing complexes delivering the beer and soda. There were 24 bottles to a case, the cases were either wooden or plastic, the beer bottles had those ceramic caps held on with wires, just so you know how much they weighed. I got to where I could carry one on my shoulder and two with my other hand. During the summer I worked with him all day, during school I only worked after school til we were done. Got pretty good money too, and of course I had to pay rent and buy my own cigarettes and what ever food items I wanted for myself.
My shoulders had already stated filling out because of the hay hauling days, by the time I started playing football in the fall my shoulders were out there.
When we arrived in Germany I stated the eighth grade, the school I went to was run by the Department of Defense. The local school only went up to the ninth grade, the high school was in Frankfort about 20 miles away. You could live on campus if your family could afford it, or you could catch the bus every morning at about 6am. When it came time for me to go my parents said they couldn't afford for me to live on campus. They had heard that there were a lot of drugs on campus and they didn't trust me. School started in August and we were being transferred back to the stated in December because my dad got orders to go to Vietnam. So my folks talked me into not going to school till we got settled back in the states. I would only miss one semester and would be able to catch up. I don't know why they didn't trust me, when all my other friends were smoking dope I didn't. I didn't start smoking marijuana till I was in the Army, but that's another story for a later time.

Who Remembers That First Kiss

I remember it like it happened yesterday, yeah I know, kind of corny for a guy huh? It was a special thing for me, cause it has always been kind of hard for me being so shy and introverted . My dad was stationed in Germany and it was the only overseas duty station that he took us with. They had a club for the dependent children call the A.Y.A. (American Youth Activities). They usually had a dance every Friday and Saturday night. Friday night they would have a DJ and on Saturday night they would have a live band. Most of the time I would just stand around and watch everybody dance. To me it was just great to get out of the house and away from my parents. They were very controlling and most of the time they would go out and I would have to stay home and babysit my sister and brother. My siblings were too young to take to the dance, they were four and three years old.
My dad found out that a buddy of his was stationed not too far away and he had invited us to come spend the weekend with them. My dad told me that he had a daughter about my age. I found out that they also had a AYA. So I packed a dress shirt, tie and sports coat in my bag. I don't remember much of the weekend, but I do remember going to the Saturday night dance with Christina and how beautiful she was. She had long red hair, and a pretty nice body for a 14-year-old.
Their AYA was decorated a lot better than ours. You have to remember that this was in the late 60's. They had black lights and cool posters hanging all over the place, I thought it was cool how your teeth glowed. After a couple of dances we went outside for some fresh air and to smoke. We went back inside and started dancing again and during a slow dance she whispered into my ear to kiss her. So I did, the only way I knew how to kiss. She asked me if she looked like my mother, and I said of “course not”. She said, “then don't kiss me like I am”. I told her that I didn't know what she was talking about. She grabbed my hand and pulled me outside. She said, “your serious, you don't know how to french kiss”? I told her I didn't know what she was talking about. So she proceeded to show me how. I will never forget that night, a whole new world was opened up to me.
We wrote to each other a couple of times, but then it went by the wayside. That's what happens to military brats, I think that's why we have such a hard time with relationships. Here for three years, there for two. When you did befriend some one you know it was never going to last long. You pretend that it doesn't bother you, and everybody knows why.